...and believing it includes each other.
I'm going to a wedding this weekend. It's about 3 hours away one way and I'm going alone, stag, to the first wedding I've attended since my marriage ended. This is insanely awesome for my normally basement level self-esteem.
I was really excited when I received this wedding invitation a few months ago. I know the groom better than the bride and he was connected to my ex, so I wasn't sure I'd get one. I know Jonathan will not be there because he wasn't invited, so that's also good. But alone to a wedding, ugh, humph, okay.
I've figured out the gift and what I'm going to wear and how long it will take to get there. I think I'll probably have a ton of fun and the bride is darling and gorgeous I can't wait to see how she looks in her dress. The groom's not bad himself but be honest, who looks at the groom at a wedding? Um, no one, well the bride does.
I reread the invitation this week in prep of figuring out how far away it was and I saw the opening line of their invitation for the first time I hadn't noticed it before. "Desiring God's will for their lives and believing it includes each other." This was the exact first line of my wedding invitations, this EXACT line. You coulda knocked me over with a feather. Whew, that was hard to read.
Now of course, I am no longer young and in love so these words mean something very different to me now then they did then. Also, I have really positive feelings toward the couple that just used them in their wedding invitations so how do I reconcile that?
I do desire God's will for my life and believe that desire it for theirs as well. But my theology about how that is played out is a bit different than it was 12 years ago. I am not sure I believe there is one person out there for everyone anymore. In fact, I know I don't think that. I'm sure my theology will change even more in the next 12 years and more after that, maybe not in this area but the thing about me and theology is that I like thinking about it and praying about it; so it keeps evolving. Unlike the human species, I think we're regressing ;-) (this is not a statement about evolution, it's a joke people)
So, as I prepared their gift today I thought about what to say on the card. Most people say nothing and get a sappy card or fill a still sappy card with advice, thoughts, and bible verses. Instead I chose a card with a picture of an open door on it. I encouraged the couple that they are walking through a door together. That they are awesome and that I'm not one to give marital advice, since I sucked at being married. I did tell them that I'm sure they have hopes and dreams for their lives and that God has many more than they could ever have for themselves. That marriage may be hard and takes three (Jesus) people but that they will figure it out.
I hope you desire God's will for your life, I desire it for mine and for the bride and groom tomorrow. I desire it for my children. God tells us in his word what His will for us is, it's not a trick or a guessing game and we don't need to lay fleeces out like Gideon. God makes His desires for us clear, Micah 6:8 - do justice, love mercy and walk humbly with your God. That's just one of many passages where His will for us is made clear.
Sometimes we worry about whether or not we are marrying the right person, doing the right thing for a living, going to the right college, or potty training our kids the right way. I'm not sure that if you seek God on the big things and the small things and then you obey His word by doing justice, loving your neighbor and so forth that He is all that hung up on whether you go to Etown College or the University of Hawaii. He's more hung up on your heart and your soul.
Does that mean I don't believe Erin and Kevin were meant to be together, no. Not necessarily. What it means is that I believe both Erin and Kevin and you and I and my children can follow the will of God regardless. Please don't stop desiring to follow His will for your life. Just to be clear, He may not care whether or not you eat at Five Guys or Red Robin tonight. He cares more about how you treat the people you're there with.