I did the first day of school thing again this year. This time putting two kids on the bus instead of one. How did this happen? I have a kindergartener and a first grader. I am home alone with one child (until something changes in my situation). I have not been home alone with one child since 2006 and really I was pregnant with Harvey for 3/4s of that year so that doesn’t really count, right?
Rowan was excited for 5 seconds when he woke up before he descended into the “I don’t want to go to school” funk. Harvey popped out of bed like a jack rabbit (Aunt Meredith’s old phrase for them). We were ready 45 minutes early. I may have taken the punctuality and preparing ahead of time a little too far. We had to kill time; that did not go well. Watch, we’ll be late tomorrow.
Jonathan met us at the bus stop. I seem to have trouble even looking at him these days, but I’m very good at looking at the ground, or my phone or my children, or staring off into space. It’s not that I’m feeling hatred in those moments; it’s just that I really don’t want him to smile at me or pretend to be kind. Makes me want to throw up. So, I look at the ground or my phone or give my children my absolute resolute compolute (so not a word) attention. I needed another 'olute' word. It was good for the kids that he came. They appreciated his presence and I appreciated them appreciating it. Even if I didn’t want to look at him, ugh.
On a side note, there are a million children at our bus stop this year and almost all of them are kindergarteners. I’m considering asking the house that we’re in front of if we can put a bench on their lawn? It’s like 6 families and many of them have more than one child. We may need more than one bench or a pavilion. Speaking of which, there’s a perfectly good pavilion directly across the street at the park, why is that not our bus stop? No idea. Keeps us out of the rain, and has a whole picnic table, duh! Who didn’t think this one through? I guess we’ll stand and wait and I’ll go buy a really huge golf umbrella that four of us, including a wiggly toddler who probably won’t stay put, can fit under.
|When you're 20 minutes early waiting for the bus is boring|
|Since she packed her own backpack with her treasures; it weighed more than her.|
Eowyn wanted to wear her back pack loaded down with toys that I’m sure weighed just as much as she did. She did okay when the boys got on the bus. But then as I was carrying her back to the house she cried. And once we got home she sort of just stood there and looked lost. Poor baby. “Where Harvey and Rowan?” Awww, little lady I’m sorry. They’re at school honeybunches.
|Tears for mommy even looking at this photo.|
|You can't see Harvey well, but he looks so lost. More tears for mommy.|
|I think Rowan will be giving Harvey this look for a long time|
|Spiderman web shooters|
|And here's the look Harvey gives Rowan, am I doing it right?|
I was not able to get them off the bus this afternoon, a whole other story that I had no control over, but Granddaddy did. He even walked Eowyn down with him because he was watching her. Shout out to Dad – Thanks! I was dying to get home and find out how their days went. I ran in the door shouting and looking for them. They were playing contentedly on the third floor and ran to me when I got there. Shouting with matched enthusiasm about how great their days were. They both told me how much they loved school. It warmed my heart so completely. I don’t feel like in my current situation I have a choice to do anything but send them to public school. I would say 60% of America’s population probably doesn’t really have another viable option. But the reality is that if you take away the element of choice sometimes you can feel trapped and if you feel trapped and you’re worried about your kids being happy it’s a huge relief when they are.
I asked them too many questions. I’m a mom of boys, please Lord help me learn this lesson before they disdain me anymore from asking too much. This is something I can be thankful that their father is more verbose than I am. He asks more than me. I wonder if he gets a pass though because he’s a guy? Hmmm, that’s not fair. Regardless, I need to set a limit to the number of questions I pester the boys with when they get home from school. Suggestions from the prolific population of men out there reading my blog are welcome, hahaha. I don’t think any men read my blog, but I still need to figure out how many is enough/too many, 2, 3, 4? Oh, I’m pushing it with four I know I am. Can I do three?
Did you have a good day? Did you eat your lunch? What did you learn/do/who did you play with/did you make any new friends/ what are their names? Ughh, see how I do that? I want to know everything and I’m clearly NOT a helicopter parent, how many questions are those parents asking???!!!!
This post did not go up last night as intended. I was still ready 40 minutes ahead of time again today.
Rowan greeted me at 5:30 so I didn’t get a shower but I did comfort him and we talked about bad dreams. Thankfully it wasn’t a dream about school.
Eowyn still doesn’t like the boys leaving. She and I had a solo today and we are enjoying it!
And I bought the rest of the school supplies they needed today, school supplies are expensive.
I also fixed a dinosaur today with super glue.
Eowyn has napped for 20 minutes today therefore I still haven't had a shower
I have no awareness of whether or what I've eaten for breakfast the last two mornings, that can't be good.
Having only one child around is really weird.
We are SOL financially and I'm starting to really stress about it.
I am completely aware that I have not fulfilled my commitment for a really deep post lately. Feeling a little chicken with expressing myself lately. I’m writing it, just working up the nerve to share it. The truth is the truth right? I should be able to talk about it even if I am attacked for it, I'm slandered and people distort what I say. Corragio e la forza