Monday, December 21, 2015

Unexpected Gratitude

I do not do one thankful thing on Facebook each day in November. I'm not a big fan of being boxed in and expected to do things <<<~~~ shocking I know. 

Nonetheless I have been overwhelmed lately with things I am thankful for and to even have an awareness of that during this time of year is pretty miraculous for me. To combat my own personal negativity I'm going to share them. 

In no particular order

1) An absolutely unexpected 2015, full of more happy surprises than I could have possibly anticipated.

2) 3 lovely children who I am both enjoying and suffering through imperfectly raising ;) it has been a gift to watch them develop into their individual personalities.

3) An online support network that never leaves me, always has my back and who I'm never afraid to admit any amount of crazy to, #VSP

4)  My love, I never expected you and I'm grateful for you, thanks for holding my hand through the forest.

5) The miraculous way all the details in my life keep working out even when my efforts fall short, even when I can't imagine how they will.  They still do in an unrelenting fashion.

6) A warm house.

7) Food in the fridge and my ability to make it taste good.

8) A six month reprieve from dealing with insanity.

9) A meaningful job where I get to serve others and show people the way out of the darkness.

10) A school committed to not just educating me but developing me as a person.

11) An understanding, gracious supervisor at work.

12) My ability to run 6 miles.

13) Numnuts convincing me to sign up for a Half Marathon.

14) Doing 2 Tough Mudders this year with my tribe #sdlhc

15) Remarkably warm running days this December.

16) Having the ability to teach my children about many, varying things.  

17) Their curiosity that makes them open to learning.

18) My friends, scattered though they may be, and their genuine love for me.

19)  God and his amazing desire to know me, relate to me and help me become a better version of myself.

20) Almost FOUR YEARS of freedom.  Unbelievable.

21) New local friends who have accepted me.  

22) New-to-me cool kids and the opportunity to be a part of their lives.

23) House hunting - that it's even something I can consider being able to do.

24) My thesis, how it excites me, that I have the chance to write it.

25) Graduating this coming year, a staggering grateful notion, that I barely comprehend as possible.

26) The ability to meet with God.

27) Books, all the books....

28) My family

29) Wabi-Sabi, how beautiful the imperfections are in others and how I can begin to embrace them in myself.

30) A car I like.

31) The ability to fill up my car with gas without freaking out every time.

32) A shoe eating, barbie chewing dog that loves my kids unconditionally.

33) Co-workers who don't drive me insane every day.

34) A working vacuum cleaner

35) A calling, I don't completely understand it.  I don't know how it will work itself out in my life but I'm grateful for its steadying, guiding purpose. It gives a mooring to this wild heart. 

I could keep going.  I'm sure I left people or things out.  But the point is not that this is an exhaustive list, the point is that I'm grateful I can even come up with it right now.  I'm grateful that I'm not so self-absorbed that I failed to realize how incredibly blessed I am.  I'm grateful for the openness to see the gift in life.  That is what I will focus on this week.  That is where my mind and heart will be.  Maybe by focusing there I can begin to accept that not only is life overflowing with gift, but I am one too.

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